As I sit here teetering somewhere between a 25 to 30 pound weight loss, it occurs to me that I need to think of food (or really, bad, fattening, delicious food) as a drug. A bad drug. An evil, addictive, horrible drug. A once-you-really-start-you-can't-stop kind of drug. There is a CHEMICAL reaction that happens in me with ONE bite of the evil addictive food. I feel a rush in my brain, my mouth salivates differently, it's FREAKISH.
Don't get me wrong...I have made some really good choices in the last few months. I have avoided potentially harmful situations, I have selected foods on menus that never would cross my mind usually, and I see this all as PROGRESS. But unless I view "evil" food as a drug, I fear I will never beat it. And so finally it makes sense to me that people go to Overeaters Anonymous. You MUST treat it like an illness because that's what it is.
Offering me a row of Oreos or even ONE Oreo would be like asking an alcoholic to just take a small sip of a martini. It forces an internal conversation and questions your passion, your will, your integrity, and your promise to yourself to JUST SAY NO.
For me, though, Jenny is working. I find that I am accountable to my Jenny consultant, to my personal trainer, and to my husband. I am learning how to be accountable to myself though that has never been enough of a motivation for me. Still, I am evolving. What choice do I have?
I am beginning to enjoy my workouts which I never thought humanly possible. I am considering moving some of my exercise equipment into my bedroom for some quick "crunches" before bed and when I get up in the morning. And somewhere in the last week or so I must have crossed some threshold in my looks because people I work with every day are noticing and mentioning how different I look.
That all feels good.
But I'm not getting cocky. I am trying to stay focused on small victories. I will take whatever fraction of a pound down that I can and will tell myself that it's progress. Because at least the scale numbers are not going UP.
4 comments:
Wow! What a phenomenal breakthrough. Hold those thoughts.
I've been watching, sporadically, the TV show "I Can Make You Thin" and while some of the stuff is a little too touchy-feely for me, there are a lot of helpful tips he gives as well. I've been focusing on half portions, chewing very slowly, savoring, and stopping when full. I'm trying not to read while I eat, which I often do at breakfast and lunch, because if you're distracted, you don't pay attention to feelings of fullness, and eat more. Good ideas, I think.
Can't wait to see the new you.
it has often occurred tome that we can be addicted to almost anything andits the addiction itself that has to be handled. so i think that is a logical approach for now. as long as you dont lump all food togethre under"evil" but it doesn't sound like you're headed there.
dont you live formy comments? :-)
That is an incredible realization to reach and a fantastic accomplishment. I am so glad I have re-tuned in to your journey. I'm hooked. please keep us updated :) xoxo
HELLO out there...where the blogging at?
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