Jam on it...
J-Jam, J-J-J-J-Jam on it.
Wickie wickie wickie...shaddap
Isn't it amazing that this could once be such a popular song? And yet there are brilliant song writers out there, like my cousin Rebecca.
Oh, and Butterfly Kisses? Don't make me slap you.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Thursday, April 26, 2007
I have this friend...
There's really no chance she'll read this blog but I'll not mention names anyway. Though DG will know and comment (or choose not to because the topic is old already with us...).
But I have this friend. She used to be one of my closest friends. She has always been a very busy person. Mostly because I don't think she knows what to do with herself in "down time". She doesn't enjoy down time. When you're at rest, she's moving forward; looking on for what else to do.
Regardless, though, we live quite far away from each other. As most of you know, I left my family and a good bunch of important friends on the East Coast when I moved West. She was one of them. I hate to use that past tense but as our lives have moved on, she has proved to be less and less of a friend.
I have reached my limit of reaching out and making efforts. I have tried and tried to be understanding, and open, and willing to let things slide because I know she's a loving and generally giving person. It's just that in the last 3 years or so, she's been less and less giving of herself. I find I'm doing all the giving and she's doing the taking.
I get calls when she's at her most upset about something. I talk with her about it for hours on end. I get calls when something is making her nervous and when she wants to talk it through. And I talk with her about it for hours on end. But she doesn't return my calls. She keeps claiming she's coming to visit but never makes any plans.
I don't know who she talks to anymore but I know that I am sooooooo tired of talking to her.
So I tried email. When the phone doesn't work, email is a good second chance. I would email her and tell her what's happening and try to find out what's going on with her (as a follow up mostly). I never got responses.
But she was sending me a million bad recycled jokes. No note attached as to why she thought it was funny. Just a straight hit of the forward button and it was sent on to me.
So I told her to stop. If she can't find the time to call me back or email me back or to respond to maybe something that *I* want to talk about, then I CERTAINLY am not interested in the horrible jokes.
So then I heard nothing for a while. And then she called and chatted to me like nothing had been wrong and we were just picking up like nothing had changed. Except I realized that it has changed.
I'm done. Friendship is not that one sided. I'm tired of giving and getting nothing in return.
Thank goodness I have you. :-)
But I have this friend. She used to be one of my closest friends. She has always been a very busy person. Mostly because I don't think she knows what to do with herself in "down time". She doesn't enjoy down time. When you're at rest, she's moving forward; looking on for what else to do.
Regardless, though, we live quite far away from each other. As most of you know, I left my family and a good bunch of important friends on the East Coast when I moved West. She was one of them. I hate to use that past tense but as our lives have moved on, she has proved to be less and less of a friend.
I have reached my limit of reaching out and making efforts. I have tried and tried to be understanding, and open, and willing to let things slide because I know she's a loving and generally giving person. It's just that in the last 3 years or so, she's been less and less giving of herself. I find I'm doing all the giving and she's doing the taking.
I get calls when she's at her most upset about something. I talk with her about it for hours on end. I get calls when something is making her nervous and when she wants to talk it through. And I talk with her about it for hours on end. But she doesn't return my calls. She keeps claiming she's coming to visit but never makes any plans.
I don't know who she talks to anymore but I know that I am sooooooo tired of talking to her.
So I tried email. When the phone doesn't work, email is a good second chance. I would email her and tell her what's happening and try to find out what's going on with her (as a follow up mostly). I never got responses.
But she was sending me a million bad recycled jokes. No note attached as to why she thought it was funny. Just a straight hit of the forward button and it was sent on to me.
So I told her to stop. If she can't find the time to call me back or email me back or to respond to maybe something that *I* want to talk about, then I CERTAINLY am not interested in the horrible jokes.
So then I heard nothing for a while. And then she called and chatted to me like nothing had been wrong and we were just picking up like nothing had changed. Except I realized that it has changed.
I'm done. Friendship is not that one sided. I'm tired of giving and getting nothing in return.
Thank goodness I have you. :-)
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Oh another day...
Motherhood is tough.
To love and give when you want to shut down and ignore is really hard. And knowing there's no end in sight for the whining and poking and pulling and ignoring and the whining (did I already mention whining? Wait, lemme say it again. Whining. There.) for a few years seems like a painful eternity at times.
And yet there's deliciousness hidden in these moments too. When my 19 month old snaps back at me with attitude that she's picked up from me or her sister more likely, it's hard not to laugh. When a few silly faces can evoke giggles and brightness in their eyes, it's like heaven on earth.
But it's all very hard to put into perspective when you're exhausted all the time.
Money (like lottery winnings) would help because, if nothing else, we could take a long luxurious vacation or two during the year. Needless to say, we don't do that. Just any recharging of the batteries is a scheduling snafu half the time and it gets so hard to do on a regular basis that it's just easier not to bother.
But then I feel like this...worn down by my own life half the time. Glimmers of hope here and there, but mostly just tired and in need.
Depressing post, eh? It's just that you're checking and reading and I'm posting. This is how I feel today. It's not every day. I don't think.
I did have a good meeting last night at Federation. I am constantly surrounded by really smart women. Thank goodness. Not only there...I mean, definitely there, but in other parts of my life too. Smart women. They like me, they must be smart. :-)
Anyway...off to get a good night's sleep I hope. That should help to recharge a bit. Perhaps then I can post in a more positive way tomorrow! :-)
To love and give when you want to shut down and ignore is really hard. And knowing there's no end in sight for the whining and poking and pulling and ignoring and the whining (did I already mention whining? Wait, lemme say it again. Whining. There.) for a few years seems like a painful eternity at times.
And yet there's deliciousness hidden in these moments too. When my 19 month old snaps back at me with attitude that she's picked up from me or her sister more likely, it's hard not to laugh. When a few silly faces can evoke giggles and brightness in their eyes, it's like heaven on earth.
But it's all very hard to put into perspective when you're exhausted all the time.
Money (like lottery winnings) would help because, if nothing else, we could take a long luxurious vacation or two during the year. Needless to say, we don't do that. Just any recharging of the batteries is a scheduling snafu half the time and it gets so hard to do on a regular basis that it's just easier not to bother.
But then I feel like this...worn down by my own life half the time. Glimmers of hope here and there, but mostly just tired and in need.
Depressing post, eh? It's just that you're checking and reading and I'm posting. This is how I feel today. It's not every day. I don't think.
I did have a good meeting last night at Federation. I am constantly surrounded by really smart women. Thank goodness. Not only there...I mean, definitely there, but in other parts of my life too. Smart women. They like me, they must be smart. :-)
Anyway...off to get a good night's sleep I hope. That should help to recharge a bit. Perhaps then I can post in a more positive way tomorrow! :-)
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Life has changed...
...and not for the better.
Countless times in my life, in various work or school scenarios, I have commented to my friends about the weirdo that always sits alone in the back of the classroom, or about the whackjob in Accounting who is wound so tight you think he or she is ready to "SPROING!" In one job I actually mapped out the route to the closest stairwell in case this particular person showed up with a rifle.
That never happened, of course, perhaps I was being paranoid. But the thing is, now, that kind of thing seems to happen all the time.
Remember when it was just postal workers going...well, postal? We didn't see or hear about this kind of thing all the time. Maybe it was happening then too but the press didn't cover it? Or maybe it's just that life is getting so much more violent.
The tragedy at Virginia Tech is completely horrifying. If I was paranoid before, then you can guarantee that paranoia now. I have eyes in the back of my head. I don't trust people I don't know to be good people. I am wary of strangers anywhere near my car, my house, my CHILDREN. I make sure to know all the parents that I possibly can at the Peanut's school. I don't trust anyone who can't look me in the eye.
While I was at GWU in the 80's, the school was filled with kids just like me, and kids from ALL over. Weirdos, hippies, japs from the tri-state area, pot heads, tight wads, international students from countries I had never heard of...we had our fair share of whack job students. But I never felt that I was threatened in any way. I never felt that if I went to class, perhaps this would be the day that the crazy kid comes in and kills people. The thought never entered my mind.
How can we not weep for a generation of children who will always know fear in places that should be safe?
The news from Virginia Tech this week was a tragedy for the families of those killed or injured, of course. A horrible, senseless tragedy. But the shockwaves are huge because it means that life has changed. And our sense of normal has changed. Does it get worse than this?
Countless times in my life, in various work or school scenarios, I have commented to my friends about the weirdo that always sits alone in the back of the classroom, or about the whackjob in Accounting who is wound so tight you think he or she is ready to "SPROING!" In one job I actually mapped out the route to the closest stairwell in case this particular person showed up with a rifle.
That never happened, of course, perhaps I was being paranoid. But the thing is, now, that kind of thing seems to happen all the time.
Remember when it was just postal workers going...well, postal? We didn't see or hear about this kind of thing all the time. Maybe it was happening then too but the press didn't cover it? Or maybe it's just that life is getting so much more violent.
The tragedy at Virginia Tech is completely horrifying. If I was paranoid before, then you can guarantee that paranoia now. I have eyes in the back of my head. I don't trust people I don't know to be good people. I am wary of strangers anywhere near my car, my house, my CHILDREN. I make sure to know all the parents that I possibly can at the Peanut's school. I don't trust anyone who can't look me in the eye.
While I was at GWU in the 80's, the school was filled with kids just like me, and kids from ALL over. Weirdos, hippies, japs from the tri-state area, pot heads, tight wads, international students from countries I had never heard of...we had our fair share of whack job students. But I never felt that I was threatened in any way. I never felt that if I went to class, perhaps this would be the day that the crazy kid comes in and kills people. The thought never entered my mind.
How can we not weep for a generation of children who will always know fear in places that should be safe?
The news from Virginia Tech this week was a tragedy for the families of those killed or injured, of course. A horrible, senseless tragedy. But the shockwaves are huge because it means that life has changed. And our sense of normal has changed. Does it get worse than this?
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Next come the boils and locusts...right?
Yeah, I know Passover is OVER and we're back to our usual bread products, but the hail we've been having makes me think otherwise.
It's not golf ball sized hail, or even really pea sized hail. It's like raindrop sized hail. It's just that it happens about every 40 minutes. And has for the last 2 days.
Anyone who lives up here in this part of the country knows that this is typical spring weather for the Pacific Northwest. It'll pour, then pour hail, then clear up, then we get an amazing rainbow, and then the process starts all over. While this is great for most of our crops and we learn to expect it, it gets TIRING. And the days get looooooong when you can't go out and play. I know it's been enough when everyone starts walking a little slower, everyone's grumpy, and even my 4 year old complains about the rain. "It ALWAYS rains here..." like she's had some experience living elsewhere in her life.
Suffice it to say we're all expecting to have a dry and warm May because we DESERVE it. Plus, that means better weather for the rest of you, right? Right.
So put away the matzah and think good thoughts. Or else the locusts and frogs will be upon you.
It's not golf ball sized hail, or even really pea sized hail. It's like raindrop sized hail. It's just that it happens about every 40 minutes. And has for the last 2 days.
Anyone who lives up here in this part of the country knows that this is typical spring weather for the Pacific Northwest. It'll pour, then pour hail, then clear up, then we get an amazing rainbow, and then the process starts all over. While this is great for most of our crops and we learn to expect it, it gets TIRING. And the days get looooooong when you can't go out and play. I know it's been enough when everyone starts walking a little slower, everyone's grumpy, and even my 4 year old complains about the rain. "It ALWAYS rains here..." like she's had some experience living elsewhere in her life.
Suffice it to say we're all expecting to have a dry and warm May because we DESERVE it. Plus, that means better weather for the rest of you, right? Right.
So put away the matzah and think good thoughts. Or else the locusts and frogs will be upon you.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
What a week!
This past Thursday, Barbara, Nicole and I (my travel companions to Israel) spoke in front of our local Federation's Allocations committee on the importance of sending money overseas to the JDC and JAFI.
The Allocations committee is charged with taking the money raised by our local campaign and dividing it among the locally supported agencies as well as the UJC which supports JDC and JAFI.
The overseas portion of our campaign has been woefully undervalued lately with some local concerns taking precedence. Our job, this year, was to bring our overseas needs into the forefront and remind the committee that we have a responsibility to support our global family too.
In preparation for Thursday's presentation, I was a wreck. This topic is so important to me and I wanted to get it right. I wanted to portray what I saw on my trip in a clear way so that the committee would have no trouble seeing what I saw even though some of them have never been overseas.
I poured over my notes, did some research online and wrote the story. And I think it turned out pretty damn great.
I believe it all went very well. All three of us spoke eloquently and passionately. The feedback has been very positive.
In about a month we'll know if we did the job we set out to do. That's when all the local agencies will have presented and the committee goes into deliberations and makes their decisions. I'll keep you all posted.
Otherwise, my honey had a good trip to Columbus and saw Aunt Mary which was fun! I wish I had been with them. We had a lovely Shabbat dinner with our friends the Tanzers. The kids are doing well and we're all looking forward to warmer and sunny weather. We had some yesterday and we took advantage by blowing a million bubbles!
Off to a baby shower! Hope you're having a good weekend!
The Allocations committee is charged with taking the money raised by our local campaign and dividing it among the locally supported agencies as well as the UJC which supports JDC and JAFI.
The overseas portion of our campaign has been woefully undervalued lately with some local concerns taking precedence. Our job, this year, was to bring our overseas needs into the forefront and remind the committee that we have a responsibility to support our global family too.
In preparation for Thursday's presentation, I was a wreck. This topic is so important to me and I wanted to get it right. I wanted to portray what I saw on my trip in a clear way so that the committee would have no trouble seeing what I saw even though some of them have never been overseas.
I poured over my notes, did some research online and wrote the story. And I think it turned out pretty damn great.
I believe it all went very well. All three of us spoke eloquently and passionately. The feedback has been very positive.
In about a month we'll know if we did the job we set out to do. That's when all the local agencies will have presented and the committee goes into deliberations and makes their decisions. I'll keep you all posted.
Otherwise, my honey had a good trip to Columbus and saw Aunt Mary which was fun! I wish I had been with them. We had a lovely Shabbat dinner with our friends the Tanzers. The kids are doing well and we're all looking forward to warmer and sunny weather. We had some yesterday and we took advantage by blowing a million bubbles!
Off to a baby shower! Hope you're having a good weekend!
Monday, April 09, 2007
Oh....and....
That last LA comment was not a dig on my dear friends Ms. Tanzer. I love YOU but I don't have to love LA. Besides...you are petite and pretty and could do the scene back in the day and I am...well...not. Not now, at least. And while I could do the scene in New York back in the day, I am personally not interested in the LA scene. So there.
But if you and DG wanted to show me the non-stuck up, scene lovin', botox ridden part of LA, I might be interested in a personal tour.
But if you and DG wanted to show me the non-stuck up, scene lovin', botox ridden part of LA, I might be interested in a personal tour.
On to the next thing...
Passover is all but over at this point. We have eaten our fill of Matzah and assorted other Passover faves and so far the pooping has still been easy for us all thank goodness...
On to the next thing. I am proud to be making a presentation this Thursday night to my local Federation Allocations committee on the importance of saving some dollars to send to overseas efforts like the American Joint Distribution Committee and the Jewish Agency for Israel. I need to work up some appropriate talking points so I can get my facts straight. I'll work on some of that today.
I have also been charged with writing up a little something about my trip for the modernjewishmom.com web site. She wants to have something up by Israeli independence day -Yom Ha'Atzmaut. Gotta get cracking on that too.
We're still on spring break here. I don't know where the time has all gone but there's a day and a half left and I don't think we've accomplished too much. Thank goodness there was some sun and some warmth and some playground visiting. That's all over now that it's pouring and cold again. Ah, Oregon.
Anyway, just thought I should check in and let you know I'm still here. You might be bored but I don't care. I'm doing this for me.
Oh, dumbass thing of the month: Apparently some friends of a friend are really into this ridiculous crap. Can you stand the stupidity?
Anyone out there doing anything fun? Cool? Interesting? Going anywhere swell so I can live vicariously? My dear DG was recently in LA and I enjoyed hearing about her exploits there. She does it right and is connected and has fun. I'd have fun if I went to LA with her. Otherwise, it's my most hated city.
On to the next thing. I am proud to be making a presentation this Thursday night to my local Federation Allocations committee on the importance of saving some dollars to send to overseas efforts like the American Joint Distribution Committee and the Jewish Agency for Israel. I need to work up some appropriate talking points so I can get my facts straight. I'll work on some of that today.
I have also been charged with writing up a little something about my trip for the modernjewishmom.com web site. She wants to have something up by Israeli independence day -Yom Ha'Atzmaut. Gotta get cracking on that too.
We're still on spring break here. I don't know where the time has all gone but there's a day and a half left and I don't think we've accomplished too much. Thank goodness there was some sun and some warmth and some playground visiting. That's all over now that it's pouring and cold again. Ah, Oregon.
Anyway, just thought I should check in and let you know I'm still here. You might be bored but I don't care. I'm doing this for me.
Oh, dumbass thing of the month: Apparently some friends of a friend are really into this ridiculous crap. Can you stand the stupidity?
Anyone out there doing anything fun? Cool? Interesting? Going anywhere swell so I can live vicariously? My dear DG was recently in LA and I enjoyed hearing about her exploits there. She does it right and is connected and has fun. I'd have fun if I went to LA with her. Otherwise, it's my most hated city.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Second Night...
Whew, tough, but wonderful and lovely in its final form.
The day was stressful in the leading up to it. But everything was done on time, came out well, and was enjoyed by our small group. We did a short, very kid friendly seder for the babes and 4 year olds among us (5 in total) and they did as well as could be expected. The food was delish, the singing was fun, the wine was poured, we completed a portion of the Seder and we were happy with the outcome.
Next year I'm planning ahead. A friend offered to help me plan. I'll definitely take her up on it.
I hope your Seders were wonderful and meaningful.
Let's all try not to eat too much Matzah...if ya know what I mean.
The day was stressful in the leading up to it. But everything was done on time, came out well, and was enjoyed by our small group. We did a short, very kid friendly seder for the babes and 4 year olds among us (5 in total) and they did as well as could be expected. The food was delish, the singing was fun, the wine was poured, we completed a portion of the Seder and we were happy with the outcome.
Next year I'm planning ahead. A friend offered to help me plan. I'll definitely take her up on it.
I hope your Seders were wonderful and meaningful.
Let's all try not to eat too much Matzah...if ya know what I mean.
Monday, April 02, 2007
First night...
I never even got to dinner.
By the time you've eaten the matzah, then the Hillel sandwich, then the egg, then the gefilte, then the matzah ball soup , and then maybe some salad, who in the hell as time for dinner?
Not me. I skipped the dinner part.
Dessert I couldn't skip though. Such interesting things you can do with matzah farfel!
We had a glorious time with our friends who are incredible and very generous hosts. Our table company couldn't have been more fun, the kids cooperated, the Bird fell asleep in her high chair rather early on and stayed asleep the whole time, right in the middle of the action. The Peanut got to hand out her Plague masks and finger puppets and enjoyed seeing the grown ups trying them on.
It was a lot of fun. Warm, loving, funny...how better to celebrate if I can't be with my own family back East?
I hope your Seders were fun and not too lengthy. More than anything, I hope you are starting traditions that you enjoy.
I think this is my favorite holiday.
Chag Sameach! (This is the more correct way of wishing you a Happy Holiday.)
By the time you've eaten the matzah, then the Hillel sandwich, then the egg, then the gefilte, then the matzah ball soup , and then maybe some salad, who in the hell as time for dinner?
Not me. I skipped the dinner part.
Dessert I couldn't skip though. Such interesting things you can do with matzah farfel!
We had a glorious time with our friends who are incredible and very generous hosts. Our table company couldn't have been more fun, the kids cooperated, the Bird fell asleep in her high chair rather early on and stayed asleep the whole time, right in the middle of the action. The Peanut got to hand out her Plague masks and finger puppets and enjoyed seeing the grown ups trying them on.
It was a lot of fun. Warm, loving, funny...how better to celebrate if I can't be with my own family back East?
I hope your Seders were fun and not too lengthy. More than anything, I hope you are starting traditions that you enjoy.
I think this is my favorite holiday.
Chag Sameach! (This is the more correct way of wishing you a Happy Holiday.)