I have this friend...

There's really no chance she'll read this blog but I'll not mention names anyway. Though DG will know and comment (or choose not to because the topic is old already with us...).

But I have this friend. She used to be one of my closest friends. She has always been a very busy person. Mostly because I don't think she knows what to do with herself in "down time". She doesn't enjoy down time. When you're at rest, she's moving forward; looking on for what else to do.

Regardless, though, we live quite far away from each other. As most of you know, I left my family and a good bunch of important friends on the East Coast when I moved West. She was one of them. I hate to use that past tense but as our lives have moved on, she has proved to be less and less of a friend.

I have reached my limit of reaching out and making efforts. I have tried and tried to be understanding, and open, and willing to let things slide because I know she's a loving and generally giving person. It's just that in the last 3 years or so, she's been less and less giving of herself. I find I'm doing all the giving and she's doing the taking.

I get calls when she's at her most upset about something. I talk with her about it for hours on end. I get calls when something is making her nervous and when she wants to talk it through. And I talk with her about it for hours on end. But she doesn't return my calls. She keeps claiming she's coming to visit but never makes any plans.

I don't know who she talks to anymore but I know that I am sooooooo tired of talking to her.

So I tried email. When the phone doesn't work, email is a good second chance. I would email her and tell her what's happening and try to find out what's going on with her (as a follow up mostly). I never got responses.

But she was sending me a million bad recycled jokes. No note attached as to why she thought it was funny. Just a straight hit of the forward button and it was sent on to me.

So I told her to stop. If she can't find the time to call me back or email me back or to respond to maybe something that *I* want to talk about, then I CERTAINLY am not interested in the horrible jokes.

So then I heard nothing for a while. And then she called and chatted to me like nothing had been wrong and we were just picking up like nothing had changed. Except I realized that it has changed.

I'm done. Friendship is not that one sided. I'm tired of giving and getting nothing in return.

Thank goodness I have you. :-)