That must be you that I see up there in the sky with the rest of the stars...at 4:50Am.....because I'm up....and blogging.....dammit.
Seriously, what the hell is it that I can't turn off the brain enough to sleep during sleeping hours? I lie in bed "working". Trying to get comfortable. One side. Then the other. Then on the back. Then with no pillow. I considered going into another bed but I truly just think - FUCK IT - I'm up. Might as well get online. Read some news. Blog. So here I am.
I looked outside, there's a crust of frost on everything. A little thicker than just frost since there's so much WET out there. Nevertheless, should make morning driving fun..not that I have anywhere to BE per se.
Some random comments because it's now 4:55AM:
I am struck by how creative my mother is when doing projects with the Peanut. They made some lovely art projects while she was here. Nothing major, no huge creations, but fun things that were interesting in shape and color and the Peanut was SO excited for the attention and the chance to just cut and glue and hang out with Gramma.
I realize in seeing this pile of "creation" that unless it's 4:58AM, I don't have time to do those things with her. Not only do I feel I'm just so busy all the time with the Bird and trying to keep her away from scissors, or from ruining towers or from eating polly pocket pieces, but that my BRAIN just doesn't work all that creatively anymore.
Every now and then I think of something to do. I prep it in about 5 minutes and it keeps her occupied for about 5 minutes. Beyond that, I just don't have it in me. Maybe if I was a bit more organized I'd be able to make a "Creation Station" here at home like she has at school. Where there's a pile of fun objects to create with and she can make whatever she likes whenever she wants to do it. I'll have to work on that because I know she'd love it. But I'll need to donate about half the crap in this playroom before that happens. Anyway...notice how it's HER creativity we fall back on here. What have I got to offer?
I think some moms get stripped of brainpower once the children come. We work in a different mode than we used to. Not that there isn't some brain power in there, it just takes a lot more stimulation and A LOT more motivation to reach it.
Ugh...I have to work on something creative for Federation this weekend. Maybe since I'm up I'll work on it now.
So nighty night. Or should I say good morning? Top o' the mornin' to ya? Whatever...gotta get cracking. Hey, thanks for being there for me. TTFN.
3 comments:
Now, look. It's easy to be creative and spend hours playing Barbie (ugh! it's strictly from love) or cutting out construction paper when you don't have to change diapers, let out the dogs, go grocery shopping, put dinner on the table, fold laundry, clean up, pick up, drop off, and all the myriad minutiae that family life demands. Not that I want you to feel sorry for yourself. Just the opposite. I know it doesn't feel like it, but this is a very short time in your life before they both go to school and you miss having them around all the time. So savor when you can, and look on the rest philosophically. Make time for your honey and listen to his frustrations because it's not all fun and games at the office, even though when you're knee deep in sheets and towels and bibs and baby clothes, you might long for the supposedly stress-free days of full-time work. Not! Take it from someone who grinds the enamel off her teeth every night, stress is something you manage, but it never seems to go away. I'd like to see you sleep more, but at least you're using your up-time productively. L&K
Please give yourself more credit! While you may not spend a lot of time cutting and pasting with the little ones, you have one of the most creative minds I know! Maybe it doesn't come out as much in the artsy-crafty way, but I see it all the time in a performance way--the way you sing songs and tell stories is so entertaining and all the kidlets (and adults) eat it up! So props to you for being excellent at being creative in ways many others cannot!!
Four doesn't seem too young to start you little one on the game of JACKS!
It worked for us for hours and hours and hours and hours...
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