Jam On It...

Jam on it...

J-Jam, J-J-J-J-Jam on it.

Wickie wickie wickie...shaddap

Isn't it amazing that this could once be such a popular song? And yet there are brilliant song writers out there, like my cousin Rebecca.

Oh, and Butterfly Kisses? Don't make me slap you.

I have this friend...

There's really no chance she'll read this blog but I'll not mention names anyway. Though DG will know and comment (or choose not to because the topic is old already with us...).

But I have this friend. She used to be one of my closest friends. She has always been a very busy person. Mostly because I don't think she knows what to do with herself in "down time". She doesn't enjoy down time. When you're at rest, she's moving forward; looking on for what else to do.

Regardless, though, we live quite far away from each other. As most of you know, I left my family and a good bunch of important friends on the East Coast when I moved West. She was one of them. I hate to use that past tense but as our lives have moved on, she has proved to be less and less of a friend.

I have reached my limit of reaching out and making efforts. I have tried and tried to be understanding, and open, and willing to let things slide because I know she's a loving and generally giving person. It's just that in the last 3 years or so, she's been less and less giving of herself. I find I'm doing all the giving and she's doing the taking.

I get calls when she's at her most upset about something. I talk with her about it for hours on end. I get calls when something is making her nervous and when she wants to talk it through. And I talk with her about it for hours on end. But she doesn't return my calls. She keeps claiming she's coming to visit but never makes any plans.

I don't know who she talks to anymore but I know that I am sooooooo tired of talking to her.

So I tried email. When the phone doesn't work, email is a good second chance. I would email her and tell her what's happening and try to find out what's going on with her (as a follow up mostly). I never got responses.

But she was sending me a million bad recycled jokes. No note attached as to why she thought it was funny. Just a straight hit of the forward button and it was sent on to me.

So I told her to stop. If she can't find the time to call me back or email me back or to respond to maybe something that *I* want to talk about, then I CERTAINLY am not interested in the horrible jokes.

So then I heard nothing for a while. And then she called and chatted to me like nothing had been wrong and we were just picking up like nothing had changed. Except I realized that it has changed.

I'm done. Friendship is not that one sided. I'm tired of giving and getting nothing in return.

Thank goodness I have you. :-)

Oh another day...

Motherhood is tough.

To love and give when you want to shut down and ignore is really hard. And knowing there's no end in sight for the whining and poking and pulling and ignoring and the whining (did I already mention whining? Wait, lemme say it again. Whining. There.) for a few years seems like a painful eternity at times.

And yet there's deliciousness hidden in these moments too. When my 19 month old snaps back at me with attitude that she's picked up from me or her sister more likely, it's hard not to laugh. When a few silly faces can evoke giggles and brightness in their eyes, it's like heaven on earth.

But it's all very hard to put into perspective when you're exhausted all the time.

Money (like lottery winnings) would help because, if nothing else, we could take a long luxurious vacation or two during the year. Needless to say, we don't do that. Just any recharging of the batteries is a scheduling snafu half the time and it gets so hard to do on a regular basis that it's just easier not to bother.

But then I feel like this...worn down by my own life half the time. Glimmers of hope here and there, but mostly just tired and in need.

Depressing post, eh? It's just that you're checking and reading and I'm posting. This is how I feel today. It's not every day. I don't think.

I did have a good meeting last night at Federation. I am constantly surrounded by really smart women. Thank goodness. Not only there...I mean, definitely there, but in other parts of my life too. Smart women. They like me, they must be smart. :-)

Anyway...off to get a good night's sleep I hope. That should help to recharge a bit. Perhaps then I can post in a more positive way tomorrow! :-)

Life has changed...

...and not for the better.

Countless times in my life, in various work or school scenarios, I have commented to my friends about the weirdo that always sits alone in the back of the classroom, or about the whackjob in Accounting who is wound so tight you think he or she is ready to "SPROING!" In one job I actually mapped out the route to the closest stairwell in case this particular person showed up with a rifle.

That never happened, of course, perhaps I was being paranoid. But the thing is, now, that kind of thing seems to happen all the time.

Remember when it was just postal workers going...well, postal? We didn't see or hear about this kind of thing all the time. Maybe it was happening then too but the press didn't cover it? Or maybe it's just that life is getting so much more violent.

The tragedy at Virginia Tech is completely horrifying. If I was paranoid before, then you can guarantee that paranoia now. I have eyes in the back of my head. I don't trust people I don't know to be good people. I am wary of strangers anywhere near my car, my house, my CHILDREN. I make sure to know all the parents that I possibly can at the Peanut's school. I don't trust anyone who can't look me in the eye.

While I was at GWU in the 80's, the school was filled with kids just like me, and kids from ALL over. Weirdos, hippies, japs from the tri-state area, pot heads, tight wads, international students from countries I had never heard of...we had our fair share of whack job students. But I never felt that I was threatened in any way. I never felt that if I went to class, perhaps this would be the day that the crazy kid comes in and kills people. The thought never entered my mind.

How can we not weep for a generation of children who will always know fear in places that should be safe?

The news from Virginia Tech this week was a tragedy for the families of those killed or injured, of course. A horrible, senseless tragedy. But the shockwaves are huge because it means that life has changed. And our sense of normal has changed. Does it get worse than this?

Next come the boils and locusts...right?

Yeah, I know Passover is OVER and we're back to our usual bread products, but the hail we've been having makes me think otherwise.

It's not golf ball sized hail, or even really pea sized hail. It's like raindrop sized hail. It's just that it happens about every 40 minutes. And has for the last 2 days.

Anyone who lives up here in this part of the country knows that this is typical spring weather for the Pacific Northwest. It'll pour, then pour hail, then clear up, then we get an amazing rainbow, and then the process starts all over. While this is great for most of our crops and we learn to expect it, it gets TIRING. And the days get looooooong when you can't go out and play. I know it's been enough when everyone starts walking a little slower, everyone's grumpy, and even my 4 year old complains about the rain. "It ALWAYS rains here..." like she's had some experience living elsewhere in her life.

Suffice it to say we're all expecting to have a dry and warm May because we DESERVE it. Plus, that means better weather for the rest of you, right? Right.

So put away the matzah and think good thoughts. Or else the locusts and frogs will be upon you.

What a week!

This past Thursday, Barbara, Nicole and I (my travel companions to Israel) spoke in front of our local Federation's Allocations committee on the importance of sending money overseas to the JDC and JAFI.

The Allocations committee is charged with taking the money raised by our local campaign and dividing it among the locally supported agencies as well as the UJC which supports JDC and JAFI.

The overseas portion of our campaign has been woefully undervalued lately with some local concerns taking precedence. Our job, this year, was to bring our overseas needs into the forefront and remind the committee that we have a responsibility to support our global family too.

In preparation for Thursday's presentation, I was a wreck. This topic is so important to me and I wanted to get it right. I wanted to portray what I saw on my trip in a clear way so that the committee would have no trouble seeing what I saw even though some of them have never been overseas.

I poured over my notes, did some research online and wrote the story. And I think it turned out pretty damn great.

I believe it all went very well. All three of us spoke eloquently and passionately. The feedback has been very positive.

In about a month we'll know if we did the job we set out to do. That's when all the local agencies will have presented and the committee goes into deliberations and makes their decisions. I'll keep you all posted.

Otherwise, my honey had a good trip to Columbus and saw Aunt Mary which was fun! I wish I had been with them. We had a lovely Shabbat dinner with our friends the Tanzers. The kids are doing well and we're all looking forward to warmer and sunny weather. We had some yesterday and we took advantage by blowing a million bubbles!

Off to a baby shower! Hope you're having a good weekend!

Oh....and....

That last LA comment was not a dig on my dear friends Ms. Tanzer. I love YOU but I don't have to love LA. Besides...you are petite and pretty and could do the scene back in the day and I am...well...not. Not now, at least. And while I could do the scene in New York back in the day, I am personally not interested in the LA scene. So there.

But if you and DG wanted to show me the non-stuck up, scene lovin', botox ridden part of LA, I might be interested in a personal tour.

On to the next thing...

Passover is all but over at this point. We have eaten our fill of Matzah and assorted other Passover faves and so far the pooping has still been easy for us all thank goodness...

On to the next thing. I am proud to be making a presentation this Thursday night to my local Federation Allocations committee on the importance of saving some dollars to send to overseas efforts like the American Joint Distribution Committee and the Jewish Agency for Israel. I need to work up some appropriate talking points so I can get my facts straight. I'll work on some of that today.

I have also been charged with writing up a little something about my trip for the modernjewishmom.com web site. She wants to have something up by Israeli independence day -Yom Ha'Atzmaut. Gotta get cracking on that too.

We're still on spring break here. I don't know where the time has all gone but there's a day and a half left and I don't think we've accomplished too much. Thank goodness there was some sun and some warmth and some playground visiting. That's all over now that it's pouring and cold again. Ah, Oregon.

Anyway, just thought I should check in and let you know I'm still here. You might be bored but I don't care. I'm doing this for me.

Oh, dumbass thing of the month: Apparently some friends of a friend are really into this ridiculous crap. Can you stand the stupidity?

Anyone out there doing anything fun? Cool? Interesting? Going anywhere swell so I can live vicariously? My dear DG was recently in LA and I enjoyed hearing about her exploits there. She does it right and is connected and has fun. I'd have fun if I went to LA with her. Otherwise, it's my most hated city.

Second Night...

Whew, tough, but wonderful and lovely in its final form.

The day was stressful in the leading up to it. But everything was done on time, came out well, and was enjoyed by our small group. We did a short, very kid friendly seder for the babes and 4 year olds among us (5 in total) and they did as well as could be expected. The food was delish, the singing was fun, the wine was poured, we completed a portion of the Seder and we were happy with the outcome.

Next year I'm planning ahead. A friend offered to help me plan. I'll definitely take her up on it.

I hope your Seders were wonderful and meaningful.

Let's all try not to eat too much Matzah...if ya know what I mean.

First night...

I never even got to dinner.

By the time you've eaten the matzah, then the Hillel sandwich, then the egg, then the gefilte, then the matzah ball soup , and then maybe some salad, who in the hell as time for dinner?

Not me. I skipped the dinner part.

Dessert I couldn't skip though. Such interesting things you can do with matzah farfel!

We had a glorious time with our friends who are incredible and very generous hosts. Our table company couldn't have been more fun, the kids cooperated, the Bird fell asleep in her high chair rather early on and stayed asleep the whole time, right in the middle of the action. The Peanut got to hand out her Plague masks and finger puppets and enjoyed seeing the grown ups trying them on.

It was a lot of fun. Warm, loving, funny...how better to celebrate if I can't be with my own family back East?

I hope your Seders were fun and not too lengthy. More than anything, I hope you are starting traditions that you enjoy.

I think this is my favorite holiday.

Chag Sameach! (This is the more correct way of wishing you a Happy Holiday.)

Dayenu...

I love a party. Especially one I can throw. I love inviting people and having them come and enjoy themselves. I stress out over but love the cooking process and making good things and seeing people enjoy it all.

So it came as no shock to me that when I looked down at my Seder list and counted people and children, the number was at 37.

Now normally, when we have a big crowd like that, it's a BBQ and everyone's outside, or milling around, or sitting on the sofa or whatever. Hell, we've had over 60 here for BBQs in the summer. But 37 for a sit down dinner and a Seder? For the first time in my entertaining life, I had to stop the madness and cancel. CRAZINESS.

I wish I had it in me. I think I do, I just think I came to the realization too late. If I had ALWAYS planned for that number, we'd be fine. I would rearrange a bit, rent what I needed and prepare in enough time to get it done. But this was more of an organic growth. And I was caught unprepared.

It makes me a bit sad because we would have had such an interesting crowd of people and kids, some Jews, mostly non-Jews, and some who have never been to a Seder before. I still WANT all those people here, I just cannot accommodate them all this year. I'll have to figure out how to do it sometime.

Anyway, we'll still celebrate here, just more intimately, with our regulars.

Chag Sameach my lovlies...more later...

I'm doing it.

We're having seder here. Second night seder. I will learn to delegate and it will be fun for all.
Now on to the menu planning...

The Highs and the Lows

So since my last posting, I spent a weekend (well, a few days not necessarily on a weekend) alone in San Diego with my honey. We were quite lazy with our time. Tooled around La Jolla, drove up the coast a bit, spent several hours on Coronado, saw seals on the beach, ate good food and drank a lot. It was so nice! But...

It was a little foreign too. I think that when we have date night, as rare as that is, it's nice to go out and have dinner or see a movie, or friends, and easy to stop worrying or thinking about the kids. We're close to home, we'll be there in a few hours, so the brain (and thus the shoulders) relaxes. But when we were away, as I mentioned, it just wasn't enough time to relax and get away from parent mode. We'll have to try for a week or more next time, somehow. That ought to do it. :-)

A nice bonus to the trip was that I got to see some lovely ladies from my Israel trip who live in the San Diego area. We got together for lunch and had a really nice time. It was good to see them out of the context of the big group and I got to talk to them more in this one lunch than I did the whole trip. I hope we can manage to all get together again when I'm next in town or in case they ever make it to PDX.

Also, since my last posting, I have started a part time job at the Peanut's preschool as an Admin Assistant in the mornings. Yes, this is EXACTLY what I went to college for! No, but, I have to say that I am loving it. The work is easy, the people are primarily friendly, the environment is pleasant, the kids are adorable and the rest of the staff is great! I'll do this through the rest of the year until school ends. Beyond that, there are no current plans to have this position next year (not in the budget), so I'll have to look for something else. We'll see how it pans out. Right now, I'm happy, the Bird is in daycare down the hall and seemingly enjoying it, the Peanut pops in from time to time, I have some workout time, life is good!

On to Passover. I am hosting a second seder. I haven't heard back from some invited guests yet on whether they plan to grace us with their presence. I am wanting to UNinvite them. Ugh. In all seriousness, though, this is a big job, feeding a lot of people. I am considering, even though I didn't say it out loud, whether or not I am really in the mood to make this effort. I don't know if I want to. But if I don't, I'll miss it and then be mad at myself. So I'll plow through and make it happen and we'll be happy, I hope. Exhausted, but happy.

And so on and on it goes. Daily the Peanut continues to test my patience and the Bird continues to test gravity by falling a lot. She got her first nice goose egg on her head. Purple and blue and lovely. Thank goodness her bangs cover that most of the time.

What's new with you all?

And May I Just Say...

That even though I am a suburban, Oregon living, mom of two little girls, I still LOVE LOVE LOVE R.E.M. and tonight they were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame which I accidently caught on "VH1 Classic" of all things. Eddie Veder (whom I also love) did a fine fine job of putting into words why R.E.M. is so awesome, introduced them and then R.E.M. played the Waldorf Ballroom.

Wow.

They still got it. Thank G-d for small favors.

I saw them in 1983, opening for the Cowboy Junkies who opened for U2. And about 7 times since then. I loved them then and still do.

I just never get to listen to them.

Well, maybe sometimes, in between Backyardigans songs and "Hello Everybody".

Tonight they played from Murmur which was a treat and a damn nice reminder that I still like great music.

What the...?

So wasn't it just New Year's Eve?

I realized today that Passover is just around the corner, a mere two weeks or so from now. While this isn't huge HUGE news since I don't go through my house with the traditional feather and candle looking to sweep crumbs of bread products out of the house, I DO prepare a seder and I need to get a-cracking.

I fell asleep looking through recipes today. Will I survive the cooking and preparations?

Passover is one of my all-time favorite holidays. Mostly, I think, because I always had so much fun with my cousins at Seder time. I want my kids to feel the same way with their family and friends. Passover is something to look forward to that's special and unusual and filled with ritual.

I used to call my cousin Julie each Passover to see what she was wearing to Seder. This was WAY before we were teenagers. It's just that if SHE was in a dress, I wanted to wear a dress. If she was in a skirt, I wanted to wear a skirt. And later, as we got a little older, if she was wearing knickers (or gauchos or whatever), then I wanted to do the same. Every year we'd dance the Dayenu dance in the hallway at my cousin's apartment and sneak into the next room and pet their Dalmatian, Trilby, who spent time locked away because my uncle was allergic. We looked for the afikoman and received cool looking coins as a prize and later we made fun of my stepfather who called it the "Africoman" or at least that's what it sounded like. Shmueli sang "BIM Hay Rah" and pointed is finger and we all sang "Hail Renee" and "One Little Goat" around the table.

While I can't repeat these memories with my own kids, we can come up with our own traditions over time and I want them to feel that special feeling about Passover that I do.

The Peanut is getting old enough to sing at least one of the four questions. I can't wait. :-)

I hope your plans are coming along. And if Passover isn't your thing and maybe Easter is, then I hope your peeps are fresh and the grass doesn't make it into sneaky places in your homes where you find strands of it months later.

Spring is upon us and there's much to do! Time to get cracking!

So where were we?

I met with the headhunter and we went through my resume from top to bottom. It was a good exercise for me since I realized that if I really WAS looking for a job, I really need to READ my resume and remember what I did all those years ago. I think I did pretty well. But anyway, it was a netwrking interview which means we just met. She had nothing specific in mind, but now she knows me. I hope if anything mindblowingly perfect for me comes along, she'll call.

I did realize that I never stay anywhere for a long time and I also realized that the string of jobs I've had here in Portland with maybe one exception have all ended in the eventual dissolution of the company or group I was in. I PROMISE it wasn't me making that happen. I somehow feel it doesn't say much for the kinds of companies that have attracted me or that I've been attracted to.

But NOW I am working at the Peanut's preschool as an Admin, part time in the mornings and it'll be great. Simple work, satisfying in that fulfill-the-organization-need gene I have, nice people, close to the kids. I'm happy about it. And I get to work out. Which I will start once I fill out my paperwork.

Oh, and for all you New Yorkers...while you're approaching 14 degrees this evening, I'm SURE you'll want to know that today, here, in Portland Oregon, in what is still, technically, winter, we had cloudless blue skies and hit about 65. AWESOME.

I hope tomorrow is the same and I hope I get to spend a little more time outside enjoying it. And if you'd like to too, COME VISIT.

So, uh, yeah...

I have a meeting today with a headhunter.

She actually originally called me to discuss someone else who was using me as a reference. After a 40 minute conversation, she asked me what I was now doing.

Anyway, I told her that I wasn't ready to work just now but to check back with me in two months.

She called me two days later and wanted to meet me immediately.

So I'm not sure what she wants but I told her that I won't just work anywhere. It has to be wonderful and meaningful if I'm going to be away from my kids. Oh, and I don't want to mentally or physically bring my work home with me every night.

So, basically, I have needs. They'll be hard to fulfill. But I'm interested to know what she has to say and what she has in mind and WHY she needed to meet with me so soon!

I'll keep you posted.

Deep breath...and let it out...

So last night we had this Federation event I helped to organize.

It was supposed to happen in January just before my trip but it was pushed off due to snow. Of course, it's been snowing here for the last two days, giving us just a little bit of a scare that we'd have to reschedule again. But thankfully we didn't have to and the event went as planned.

It was in a very cool (and quite literally cool) space. An art gallery filled with wall sized incredible pieces. It was like being in a SOHO gallery space here in PDX. So a little unusual for sure. But it was big and open and lit well and the music was grand.

It was called "Ask A....Food Critic". It was the first in what I'm hoping will be a series of events (ie. Ask A...Master Gardener, Ask A...Pediatrician, Ask A...whatever people are interested in) that are similar in hopes of getting people to know the committee that I'm on a little better and perhaps get involved in Federation. These events are strictly outreach related so there's no pitch other than a short announcement telling people who we are and why we do what we do.

I think it all went SWIMMINGLY last night. Everyone had a great time. We met some new people, got the names of some restaurants we're going to try if we EVER get out without the kids.

Our guest of honor was funny and charming and intelligent and perfect for the event. I think we could have been there for hours asking her questions. So I am REALLY pleased at how it turned out.

And now, I can breath again. At least until the next event. Whenever that may be....

Back to the grind...

If you are here looking for my Israel entries, please see the Blog Archive to your left and select the entries starting with "The First Night" and going through "Day 6 - The Last Day". Thanks!

I am back to the usual grind and in full swing. I have (still) bouts of insomnia and last night was no exception. Plus, BOTH kids were up at various times and so that threw me off even more. UGH. My honey and I leave for San Diego in a couple of weeks for a few days alone together WITHOUT THE KIDS. I cannot wait. I wonder if I'll sleep better. I suspect I will. Not having the dogs in and around the bed should help too.

I just sat with the Peanut on the sofa for 15 minutes and fell asleep. She woke me up my jumping on my abdomen and scaring the daylights out of me. NOT funny.

I will be in my synagogue's Purim Schpiel in two weeks and it promises to be a rollicking good time filled with silliness, bad costumes, and a rough idea of the Purim story. Only 2 reheasals left and I have a lot of lines to memorize and music to memorize as well. I hope I can get it all done! I can remember random crap, songs, and phone numbers from the 70's when I was a child, but who knows if I'll be able to manage cramming more info in there. We shall soon see.

I'll let you know how it all goes...

Day 6 - The Last Day

We had breakfast all together in a conference room since we started the day out with a workshop. While it was (still) delicious, I missed the big "to-do" in the main breakfast hall. Alas, I'll have to go back again. That, or learn to make my own Israeli breakfast.

I've hinted at workshops throughout these blog entries while not really addressing them. I was chosen by my local Federation to go on this Women's Leadership Mission to Israel. It was a tremendous honor. And so, while we were in Israel encountering all these amazing things, we also "worked". We learned about public speaking, we learned about leadership and qualities of a leader, we learned about solicitations and handling difficult situations, and we learned to use the skills we have and the skills we learned to come home and be leaders within our Jewish communities. The five women who created this trip for us and ran these workshops have taught us valuable life lessons. Confidence, humor, trust, self-realization...I could go on. They are an amazing group of women and I am so thankful that they wanted to get this mission going and that I was able to join them for it. So a BIG HUGE shout out to Lori, Paula, Mim, Anne and Betsy. I doubt you're reading this, but you all are an inspiration, not only for your leadership skills but also for showing us all what friendship looks like. Long distance friendship at that. THANK YOU.

After our workshop, we rode the bus into Talpiot which is a suburb, I guess, of Jerusalem to go visit Susan's House, a workshop of at-risk youth. I've highlighted Susan's House here as a link to their web page. But when I last checked, it wasn't entirely working. Keep checking though (and I will too) because it's totally worth the visit.

Susan's House was built with love by her husband, Eyal. The VERY brief synopsis of how this all came about is that Susan and Eyal had a mutual friend who lived to be about 32 years old and was not at all supposed to live that long. When he died, Susan wanted to start a foundation in his name. She wanted to open a paper workshop to help at-risk youth to learn a trade. When Susan, herself, passed away, Eyal made it his mission to complete this dream on her behalf. They saw a need to help 15-20 year old kids who weren't cared for. They work with abused kids, kids with issues at home with physical violence, kids with sexual identity issues who feel they cannot go home, etc. At Susan's House, they bring these kids back to life through business and art. Eyal and his friend Tal and others built this operation on their own. They knew people through their work, they made connections, set everything up and THEN went to the government and the JDC for additional help. They ASKED KIDS what they needed and then provided for them. They helped to find them jobs in paper or glass factories, they helped to set up apartments to provide them with a home so that they could live independently. The kids have no art background but find it in themselves to create the most beautiful things...beads, glass plates, paper products. We were in awe.

The JDC (Joint Distribution Committee, remember from Day One?) supports non-profit businesses like this to help further their work by connecting them with the right government ministries to help financially support them. The JDC is simply a middleman in this case.

We were lucky enough to hear first hand from one of the kids at Susan's House about his experience. An 18 year old named Ronen who, before Susan's house, wasn't studying or working. He had been with Susan's House for two years and he felt that it was home to him. He was strengthened by his experiences there and it helped to encourage him to go back to classes in the evenings. Before Susan's house, he trusted nobody. He went there and felt support and that he was worth something. Now he is responsible for sales at Susan's House as well as glass cutting. He still attends night school and is completing his education. Someday he wants to be a businessman.

Ronen stood in the center of our group of women, with Tal by his side. It was clear how proud Tal was of Ronen. We ALL were proud of Ronen for the things he has accomplished for himself. We realized that the room was filled with kids with similar stories, all working hard to make beautiful things and to make something of themselves rather than vanish in the streets. It was incredible to see the work that they did, first hand. And to hear their stories and FEEL the love and the trust. If I could, I would have purchased every last thing in that room to help support this program.

So, of course, I could NOT buy it all, but I did my share and carted what I could back to the states. I am hoping to get to them to tell them I cannot access their site because I would like to buy more and send you all there too. Aside from just buying to support them which is a worthy endeavor in and of itself, the things they make are beautiful and sophisticated and would bring me such pride to use them or wear them back at home. Each Shabbat I use a plate that I purchased there. It has such meaning to me and is a constant reminder of their struggles to find self-worth and a place in this world just for them.

Here's a shot of Tal (on the right) and of Ronen cutting some glass. They were busy at work.





Here's a shot of the bead making process which some of us were encouraged to try (I didn't).

We caucused here at Susan's House. This is something they do on missions and I had heard many mixed things about what to expect. So I'll just tell you what is was for me. We all sat together in a big circle and, one by one, spoke about our experiences on this trip and what it had meant for us. It was a very emotional, warm, friendly circle of committed and devoted women. We all had our reasons for coming. We all had VASTLY different levels of giving. But at this moment and in this circle, we were the same. Because emotion, and devotion to the cause, and our committments to bring this knowledge back to our communities and get others as excited as we are...THAT is why we were chosen to come and THAT is why we were lucky enough to see and do what we saw and what we did. Some people upped their campaign gifts at this time, others didn't. Some people divulged what they gave and others didn't. But what mattered is that we were moved enough by our experience to bring the message home and share it. It is SUCH an honor to be able to do that. I value this experience right up there with the top experiences of my lifetime. And I'll talk about it as long as I have an audience to hear it.

After our caucus, we had a late lunch at a nice restaurant with special guest Zev Bielski who is the Chairman of the Executive of JAFI (The Jewish Agency For Israel) and the World Zionist Organization. We were supposed to meet him earlier in the week but were at least lucky enough to meet him over this lunch.

I want you to know that he did me an INCREDIBLE PERSONAL FAVOR which I won't get into here yet because I want to know the outcome first. Once I have the full story I will fill you all in. Suffice it to say, it spoke volumes about how important we were and how important the work that we do in our communities is to the Jewish people at home and especially in Israel.

After our lunch, which was running us quite late, we had a free afternoon with which to pack our things and do whateve last minute shopping we needed to do. If I had the time, I would have gone back into Old Jerusalem to visit the Wall one additional time before leaving. But I needed to pack and I missed out on some shopping since I took that time to spend with family (WAY more important). With a few friends, we hit Ben Yehuda street for an hour to see what was worthy of the trip home. There were so many beautiful things. But I got what I wanted and high tailed it back to the hotel to pack.

Interesting to note at this point, that our weather had been simply beautiful throughout the week. But this evening while we were shopping on Ben Yehuda, the rain and wind rolled in. We made it back to the hotel just in time before the skies opened up and the rain started to fall.

We packed. We checked out. We loaded our things onto the bus and said goodbye to the David Citadel Hotel, our home away from home. I hope to be back someday.

We rode the bus to a great restuarant (Schleifer) for one last group dinner. We said our goodbyes to each other since many of us were not leaving at this time, and we loaded the bus and headed to the airport.

The flight home was cramped at best but SAFE and isn't that the most important thing? We vowed to stay in touch and we do through a blog that Nicole lovingly set up for all of us. Of course, once we were in NY, we all split up through customs and then went on our merry ways with not a lot of fanfare. It was sad, sure, but we were focused, at this point, on our destinations and getting home in one piece.

Nicole and I spent the night in New York before leaving for PDX the next night.

When Nicole and Barbara and I see each other, it's different now. We have had this amazing shared experience. Without words we exchange glances of relief upon seeing each other because we experienced something so special and we genuinely MISS each other.

Immediately we had a big Federation women's event here in Portland called Connections. Nicole was the co-Chair of this extremely successful event, Barbara spoke eloquently about her experiences on our trip, and I cried like a baby.

I hope that I feel those emotions for a long time. More than anything I am SO proud of US for giving what we can and for doing what we can do for our community. Every part of our effort is filled with meaning and intent. Every dollar we give is meaningful as well. To know where that money goes is, without equal, the most important lesson I have learned. It will be my personal crusade moving ahead.

Thanks to all of you for reading and for caring enough to read all of these entries about the trip. I realize that I have here some people who do not and will not normally read my blog and that's cool. But I thank those of you who normally read this blog for your patience while I took the time to write this all down. It is so important to me to remember as much as I can. This was a project that I needed to complete. For me. And I'm glad if you benefitted from it too.

And now back to my regularly scheduled programming. Life in general.