Am I too old?

Today I created a facebook page. Primarily because I wanted to see one from a friend of mine (she "invited" me to view it and I did). I have to say that it's like LinkedIn on steroids which is ALSO a social networking site but somehow so much more tame.

Facebook is brilliant in how it connects you to people. I have found so many old friends in a matter of minutes on facebook and was reminded by someone wondering who the hell I was trying to get in touch with them that I probably should have included my maiden name (which I have now). It's amazing. I'm hooked.

I peeked in on some PJA facebook pages to see what the kids were saying about the school. I love it when they say PJA was HELL. In my brain, I'm like "yeah...middle school is SO HARD. Not." But you know...I'm sure when I was IN middle school I thought it sucked too, so what can I say. Most of the kids miss it and love getting in touch with their old friends. I plan to never out myself and let them know I'm lurking. :-)

I'm down officially 42 pounds and fighting to get past a personal milestone for myself. Focus. I need focus.

How's by you all? Enjoying summer?

Up with people!

Scary, super show choirs that entertain middle america aside...my up with people refers to me being up, as in weight gain, as in bloat, as in lack of focus, as in...well, you get the drift.

We spent a lot of time eating out last week and I didn't focus too hard on being entirely great either. Mind you, I was NO WHERE NEAR the eating I have been known to do in my life, but I wasn't overly careful about my portion sizes or salt intake or water drinking and dammit it SHOWS on that scale.

Considering the family in town this week and the liklihood that we'll be eating out for dinner most nights I have an enormous challenge on my hands. I think the strategy is to eat my dinner before we go anywhere so my own guilt will stop me from going overboard and I'll stick to small salads while out. And perhaps a cocktail. I can only be SO brave.

I'm VERY excited about this family visit but it'll be a food challenge all around. I need to make sure to get the workouts in too. If nothing else, perhaps it'll get my mind in the right frame for the week.

Wish me luck. I'll report in when I can.

Bye, Bye Love!

Today the crib came down and a mattress on the floor went out for the Bird. The baby is no longer a baby. Well, maybe a little bit. We still have the binky and diapers to get rid of, but the clock is ticking and I know it won't be long for both.

And no...I don't want another one. I'm happy with the two I have. :-)

Better...

I'm better now. Finished with all the antibiotics but still haven't fully regained my voice. Weird. I think it's all allergies at this point. We finally have spring (now that it's almost summer) and there's all kinds of crap in the air. I can see it through the blinds at sunset floating through the air in my backyard.

I was at a professional conference this week on the Canadian border which was a waste of time except for the nice walk on the beach and collecting of rocks and shells for the Peanut and the Bird. And I saw a bald eagle too (HUGE) which was AWESOME. It was a beautiful place and an awful conference for me. Oh well.

Looking forward to visits from Papa and Vicki! Yay! It's coming soon! We are all so excited! I'm trying to extricate myself from work while they're here. I'll see how successful I can be with that.

Weight loss is going well. Plateauing a bit this month but it's all due to circumstances of illness and recovery. And a little lack of focus. Not gaining, but just not losing. I'll see how Monday's weigh in goes.

TTFN...

Summer Strep

I didn't think it was possible since I haven't had it since I was about 20 or so...but here it is with a big ole "HELLO! I'VE MISSED YOU" kind of enthusiasm. I am recovering from a week's worth of Strep Throat - my old friend. I never thought you could get this again since, you know, you're supposed to grow out of it and it has been so long since I had it last.

Complete with fever and the shakes, complete with pain that almost made me barf, complete with the energy of a sickly tree sloth and moving about that fast, I finally got to the doctor to confirm what I knew in my sloggy brain that I had. And then there was amoxicillin.

Ah.......

While I was kind of hoping for instant relief, it came about a day and a half later and now I'm feeling better.

But wait...there's more.

My honey got it too.

I am really praying the Bird and the Peanut steer clear. I don't think I can take off much more work.

Keep your fingers crossed.

Hello Summer...

Yes friends...it's the official, non-official start to summer. The memorial day weekend. Except when you're in Oregon and the memorial day weekend might as well be happening in late February because THE WEATHER IS THE SAME.

Dude...we were teased with GORGEOUS weather last week. Hot, sunny and in the 90's. This is weather I despise but we've had a particularly wet winter and spring so for a week the hot 90's were ok. But now, that seems to have been an evil dream that happened long ago because it was raining and 49 degrees this morning. WTF?

My honey and I had a date last night and ate and drank WAYYYYY too much. Still though...how is it that you say "no thanks" to truffled french fries? Well, you don't. I didn't. I loved every damn bite of those fries along with the Grey Goose Martini with the garlic stuffed olives. We lived well last night and I PAID for it up all night with indigestion. But seeing as it had been months since our last date, I just enjoyed the night and I'll deal with the consequences.

And I'll work out like a crazy person tomorrow to make up for it.

Yep...

It's official. I am the worst blogger ever. Not because I'm a crappy writer...though that may be true...but mostly because I don't write...which is DEFINITELY true.

I am down 33 pounds. I had a nice 3 week plateau which slowed things down for a bit but then it kicked into gear. Bodies are funny, ain't they? Anyway...it's going well. I need to go shopping a bit. The two pairs of pants I have can only carry me so far before they carry themselves to the dry cleaner and I'm bottomless and that's not good. Yet.

I've added walking/jogging to my exercise schedule 2 times a week at 5:30AM with a friend. That makes 4 workouts a week. I hope I can keep at it. Naturally, being the person I am, I need to be responsible by meeting someone there to get it done or it doesn't happen. No personal trainer? No exercise. Friend on business trip? No walking. Funny how that is, eh? Funny, but not shocking. It's how I got myself here in the first place....or one of the ways, indeed.

Anyway, 33 pounds aint too shabby. My gut? That's shabby...flabby. I see some surgery in my future. We'll see.

So far...I'm not tired of my friend Jenny. I skip some meals sometimes or don't have time to eat always and that is my ENEMY. So is wine. Wine is also my enemy. I like it. It relaxes me. And we've had two Friday nights recently with a lot of wine. This Friday it'll be lots of salad and that'll be a nice change of pace. Especially for my hubby who won't have to run Saturday morning with a hangover like the last two Saturday mornings. He gets credit for running anyway, though, doesn't he? It's impressive. But LIKE ME, he meets people and doesn't want to let them down, so he goes.

It's been a crazy, busy, hellish, mind-blowing week so far. Friday needs to come soooooooon. So I can eat salad. NOT drink wine.

Today it was 70 degrees in Portland and tomorrow will be 90. Yesterday it was about 60. What the H is going on? This is how weird health problems emerge and storms are created. I see a week of tornadoes in the future for the mid-west. Because weather like this must travel and will create havoc in it's wake I predict. Nostradamus, eat your heart out.

Last week was Yom Ha'Atzmaut - Israeli Independence Day. We had an event at work and 600 people showed up. I was SOOOOOOO PROUD of us. It was a great and fun time and it was wonderful to see so much of the community show up. It'll be hard to top that one.

The end of this month and next month brings visits from family. It's been a VERY long time and considering flight cost and gas prices, it's nice that my little family of four doesn't have to do the schlepping.

Kudos to Vicki for coming out here for the first time in 11 years! I'm SOOOOO excited to have you!


TTFN all...

Food: The Drug of Choice

As I sit here teetering somewhere between a 25 to 30 pound weight loss, it occurs to me that I need to think of food (or really, bad, fattening, delicious food) as a drug. A bad drug. An evil, addictive, horrible drug. A once-you-really-start-you-can't-stop kind of drug. There is a CHEMICAL reaction that happens in me with ONE bite of the evil addictive food. I feel a rush in my brain, my mouth salivates differently, it's FREAKISH.

Don't get me wrong...I have made some really good choices in the last few months. I have avoided potentially harmful situations, I have selected foods on menus that never would cross my mind usually, and I see this all as PROGRESS. But unless I view "evil" food as a drug, I fear I will never beat it. And so finally it makes sense to me that people go to Overeaters Anonymous. You MUST treat it like an illness because that's what it is.

Offering me a row of Oreos or even ONE Oreo would be like asking an alcoholic to just take a small sip of a martini. It forces an internal conversation and questions your passion, your will, your integrity, and your promise to yourself to JUST SAY NO.

For me, though, Jenny is working. I find that I am accountable to my Jenny consultant, to my personal trainer, and to my husband. I am learning how to be accountable to myself though that has never been enough of a motivation for me. Still, I am evolving. What choice do I have?

I am beginning to enjoy my workouts which I never thought humanly possible. I am considering moving some of my exercise equipment into my bedroom for some quick "crunches" before bed and when I get up in the morning. And somewhere in the last week or so I must have crossed some threshold in my looks because people I work with every day are noticing and mentioning how different I look.

That all feels good.

But I'm not getting cocky. I am trying to stay focused on small victories. I will take whatever fraction of a pound down that I can and will tell myself that it's progress. Because at least the scale numbers are not going UP.

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Pounds....yes, it's slowed a bit now but still going down and isn't that what's important? HELL YEAH! It feels good to do well. I am trying not to think too much about the future and take it a day at a time because you never know how circumstances can change. But I've made some decent decisions lately and I'm proud of those decisions and how I've reacted, so it's progress.

Aside from all this, I've been working so hard lately my brain feels like it's going to explode. So many cool but challenging things going on at work, I hope I can keep track of it all. It will NOT be easy but it's pretty fun most of the time. I could do without the stress.

My lovely friend Carol posted an evil,wicked, funny, creative April Fool's joke on her French Laundry at Home blog. She was even picked up by New York magazine! Not too shabby! I love reading the comments and seeing how many people fell for it. And, if nothing else, it's cool to see how many fans she has. For everyone that comments there's about a thousand more that don't!

But I have been singing the Golden Girls theme song since then (see her post). I'm none too pleased about that.

Separately, in the world of Peanuts and Birds, the Bird fell and scraped up her face yesterday. She has two parallel scrape lines from the top of her forehead to her cheek and is now walking around with a huge bandage on her forehead. Thank goodness she can't see herself because she looks AWFUL. We're being diligent about neosporin and bandages so keep your fingers crossed for no scarring.

The Peanut is working hard in her TK (transitional kindergarten) class. We're investigating whether or not she can skip Kindergarten and head straight into First Grade because we believe she's academically ready. She's close enough in age for sure and is physically a head taller than most of the kindergarteners. The school is doing the right thing and investigating where she stands academically to make an informed decision. So we'll see how it goes. I'll keep you all posted.

Anyway, TTFN folks. I'll write again soon, I hope.

Hamentaschen Hell

Chag Purim everyone! Yesterday we celebrated Purim at work/school. It's a silly holiday really where we tell and retell the story of Queen Esther and her cousin Mordechai and how they saved the Jews in Shushan from the evil Haman.

Aside from the silly costumes and the plethora of Purim Schpiels that go on throughout the land, there are also Hamentaschen EVERYWHERE. Little triangular cookies often filled with fruit and sometimes other things like poppyseeds (yuck) or in the case of the one of FOUR I ate yesterday, it was filled with chocolate chips and macadamia nuts. The others were prune.

So I cheated a bit yesterday. They're not enormous cookies mind you, but the guilt felt yesterday as I thought about my weakness was apparently NOT enough to stop me from eating them in the first place.

Ah...it's a slippery slope and I am VASTLY aware of how quickly things can change.

So it is with renewed will that I approach this next week. I am feeling good and looking SO much better already and am down 20 pounds. I look forward to my workouts (even though I hurt) and I am usually unafraid to weigh in. This makes me happy. :-)

The Bird and the Peanut dressed as queen esther yesterday and I have a cute photo to share with you. But I have to download it first. I'll post it as soon as I can. Cutie girls... :-)

Happy Spring everyone! We have daffodils and budding trees. What do you have springing forth?

The Results

Well, the weigh in wasn't great. I was up a bloated 8/10 of a pound. Not sure exactly why aside from perhaps my monthly visitor wreaking havoc. Still, this week has been fine and assuming all goes well between now and Thursday evening, I should be back on track.

My dear friend Carol recently posted a heavenly dessert on her French Laundry at Home blog and brought up some lovely memories of our trip to Maui back in 96...I think it was 96. And also of our college days listening to Janet Jackson and dancing like lunatics at our (then) favorite bar in DC.

It reminded me of how lucky I am to have this priceless handful of old friends who knew me when and have kept with me for all these years. And yes, we're geeks and talk about old times like they were yesterday, and yes, we laugh at jokes and references we've been making for 20 years or so, but that's the best part, right?

Because carrying friendships like that through the years allows you a precious few friends who know everything about you and still love you. And I think that's amazing.

So I must be the luckiest person in the world to have married one of those friends.

And I am also the luckiest in the world to still love those friends as I know they love me.

BOLIVIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Svelte

Well, not yet, but I'm working on it.

I'm eating my salad, thinking about the lunch I have yet to heat up and realized there's been no blogging recently. Not that I can spend much time NOW doing this but I'm here so why not at least a little something?

I am down 14 pounds and a collective 11 inches off myself as of last weigh in.

This has not been a tremendous week for me. I've been more hungry, more tired, more unfocused than I'd like to have been on my eating. Schedules are off, I'm not getting enough food in me and I'm hungry which means I'd like to graze. I haven't eaten more than a handful of Triscuits though so it's not like I've run off the deep end. Still, it's off program and I need to be on for a good long time. But I am proud of my accomplishments and still committed. The food is decent and I don't feel deprived.

I'll let you know how tomorrow's weigh in goes. We'll see...

More later.

My first test...

There was half a cheesecake in my house a few days ago. And it looked DEEEEEEE-licious.

Luckily, Jenny gave me cheesecake too and I was able to fool myself into thinking I had some. I also was able to stop myself from raiding the fridge when everyone was asleep.

This was my first of what can only be a million to follow.

And actually, I was able to get through Costco yesterday without tasting all of the delectable bites they had prepared for me. I just took each one and handed it off to a more than willing child.

They ate quite well actually.

Window of Opportunity

I don't usually have a window of opportunity. For months I have wanted to blog from my office where I spend most of my days. Especially when I want to take a moment and be ME for a minute. I have never been able to do so until now. I don't know how I got this window, but I LIKE IT! :-)

Jenny helped me lose 7 pounds! Isn't she nice? She knows just what I need. What a good friend.

Seriously, it's been FAIRLY easy since I began this program. I cannot say that I haven't slipped, I cannot say that I am never hungry and am always satisfied, but in the scheme of things, I'm doing pretty well and I am grateful for the opportunity NOT to think about food.

I am hoping that my food obsession becomes an exercise obsession. We'll see if that comes to fruition. But I need to work at it and that is my intention and that's often half the battle. Well, deciding to even DO SOMETHING is half the battle. DOING it is the other half.

Anyway, two major milestones for me this year are:
1) Doing something nice and feeling good about myself when we reach our 10th anniversary this summer.
2) Doing something nice and feeling good about myself when I reach 40 in December.

And WHAT we do isn't as important as me looking FIERCE when we do it!

Better get my ass to the gym...

More at least next week...

867-5309

Jenny Jenny...who can I turn to..?
You give me something I can hold on to.

Yes friends...I have joined Jenny Craig and not because I love her or she's my friend, but because I realized that I have a food obsession and I'd rather have an exercise obsession, or some other, more healthy obsession. So, by going on this program, I don't really need to even think about food or preparing food, I just need to eat (and we all know I can do that), but eat what they give me and supplement with vitamins, fruits and veggies.

Mindless and relatively easy. It should be. But it's a struggle to get started and I am consumed with worry over holidays and gatherings and what the hell I'll do. I love to cook, but it's hard not to eat when you cook and taste everything. Especially at holiday time when you've waited all year to eat some of the things you make. NOT eating them this year will be tricky.

Perhaps a VACATION at that time would be pertinent! I actually think that's an awesome idea.

I went in there this week and looked the lady straight in the eye and told her "I need this to be the LAST time I do this. I will lie, cheat, and worm my way out of it and you need to help call me on it and keep me focused." So that they have pledged to do. I would appreciate your help too. As long as its not the first topic of conversation all the time. As I mentioned, I need NOT to be food obsessed.

It has all started well and I've lost almost 3 pounds this week. But I've also been home with Ellie trying to keep her busy and happy while she's been sick (not easy) and I've spent a lot of time in the kitchen which has kept my mind on food and made me realize how work ( though hard) has been a blessing since I can't be snacking all day. I'm looking forward to getting back into the office and away from constant kitchen temptation.

So....where should I go on my vacation? Who's taking the kids?

Monthly blogging?

I can't believe it's almost a month since my last posting. Please forgive me for I have sinned....or something like that.

So, I'm back to insomnia which seems to be the one opportunity I have to blog. I'd blog more often in this year of me but I've been SOOOO busy doing all of these great things for myself, that I just haven't had the time!

Well, no, actually...that's just entirely untrue. I haven't really started that yet. But I hope to! Soon! I'm just sure of it!

I'm catching up on emails in which people send me multimedia links because I can't check them from work and my PC downstairs has no sound. So it isn't until I get to sit up here in peace that I can watch all the things you all send me to watch and listen to.

This brings me to the part that's killin' me. My dear friend Diner Girl sent me - back in December - links to the My Space page of Villa Alegre. Don't know what that is? Villa Alegre was a show on PBS when I was a kid. I honestly don't remember much about it but I do know that it was on after Electric Company which was on after Sesame Street. I believe that was the order because I don't remember watching the show as often as I watched SS or EC. But I DO remember the theme song. And now...if you clicked on that hyperlink, you will too.

Catchy, isn't it?

LA la la la la laaaaa la la laaaaa la la la la VILLA ALEGRE!

OMG, I need to go to sleep.

Goodbye Amigos. Our show is over. We'll see you, the next time. On Villa Alegre.
LA la la la la laaaaa la la laaaaa la la la la VILLA ALEGRE!

Four turkey burgers please...

A specific older child in my household has been nothing short of a big old pest today. About as pleasant as a skeeter in August in the swampy south heading towards a fleshy sweaty thigh or perhaps a bloated ankle. It's deserving of a swat but you'll never get it and soon enough you'll have a welt.

Today I have a big welt from this skeeter. She has whined since she awoke at 7:30 this morning. WHERE DOES THIS SOUND COME FROM? I found myself copying her so she could hear what she sounded like. She didn't like it any more than I did but it didn't stop her.

And so tonight after listening to the whining all day, we treated ourselves (and thus her) to turkey burgers from Humdinger, a local burger place who laughs each time we place an order but they're always ready for us. I think they know my honey by name by now, though it sounds like we go more often than we do. It's just that we're probably the only ones who order 4 TBs at a time.

They were good. :-) So were the tater tots.

And she's quiet now, thank you-know-who, and I don't mean Voldemort.

We grocery shopped today since we had, um, NOTHING in the house this week. We scraped by until this moment when we could go to Trader Joe's and LOAD UP. Which we did and it was cathartic.

I think tomorrow I'll go get on the eliptical for a half hour or so to make up for my burger and tots this evening. If I do it'll be a miracle. But I'm thinking about it which is already different than MOST of my days. Just one step closer to working out in my year of ME.

Keep those resolutions coming!

Happy New Year!!!

Welcome back all y'all! And Happy Birthday Mom!

We're back into the grind here having returned from our trip to NYC. First one as a family in a year and a half. I can't believe it had been that long but now that this one is over and done with it doesn't surprise me. It's HARD to travel with kids!

I think I have learned to lower my expectations of what can be accomplished when traveling with two small children. We get to do what THEY want to do and when they deem it's time. Otherwise, we pay the price. Sometimes we can convince them that they want to do what we want to do, but it is a rare thing.

"Yes, of course!" you say!

And there you have it. One of the many facts of life (Blair).

I am in the process of declaring 2008 as the year of ME. The year I get to do things for myself...workout more, get my haircut when I need to, manicures when I want to, dinner and movies and dates with my husband and friends, nice drives on nice days...the year of ME means doing some things that make me happy and putting myself in the number one position now and then.

How hard can that be? I think it sounds like fun!

What are your New Year's resolutions?

Shake Your Booty

These are not words I expect to hear from my two year old. And yet. I am hearing those exact words from both the five year old and the two year old. Along with the butt wagging.

Also..."Rock and Rooolllll...".

I think I'm living partially in some alternate universe.

Where eating a sister's toenail is acceptable and regarded as fiber.

Oh no...that's this universe. The toenail isn't fiber honey. It's disgusting. Spit that out.

Brilliance